yakirli

My name is Pini Rabinovich, and I am the father of Dasi z’l, who passed away in 1996, at the age of 19, after losing her courageous fight with cancer. Dasi was an active and beloved young leader who touched many lives, both before and after her death. Dasi fought for patients’ rights to obtain a second opinion and fair treatment as people. For myself and for others, she continues to be a source of unending inspiration for improvement and for social action. In particular, Dasi developed the concept of the Circles of Simcha (Joy), which inspires many to this day. Following the shiva for Dasi, I began to understand what it means to be “transparents” – parents who have lost a child due to illness and now feel invisible. The difference between the embrace we received from the community during Dasi’s illness and shiva and the days following the shiva, was unfathomable. People are uncomfortable about approaching bereaved parents. They are not sure what to say, how to relate to parents who have lost the most precious of all, and so, at the very time families need support more than ever, they find themselves transparent - the world “disappears”. This realization motivated us to create an organization that would provide guidance to families who have lost children to disease and other causes. We also came to the understanding that, as painful as the death of a loved one is, there is a bigger issue that needs to be addressed. The real concern is the attitude of Israeli society and authorities towards the death of individuals as the result of “civilian” causes – i.e., the tragic death of people, and particularly young people, in circumstances not related to fallen soldiers or victims of terror. Yakir Li Six years ago, we established Yakir Li—A helping hand and open heart for the bereaved, an organization that serves as an address for families who have experienced civilian bereavement, particularly those who have lost children. Our aim is for bereaved families to be able to recover financially, emotionally, and mentally with dignity, and stand on their feet. Each year, 2,400 children, teens, and young adults up to the age of 24 die in Israel and leave behind devastated parents, siblings and family members. Families have nowhere to turn for emotional support and feel very alone. The vast majority have had no prior contact with social services and therefore have no immediate access to the support they so urgently need. Although they may have the comfort of the memories of their loved ones, they are not recognized by society as victims of bereavement. They do not receive any official support or services, whether financial or even, more simply, attention to and recognition of their pain. Yakir Li is the first body to openly speak about civilian bereavement, a concept that is absent from Israeli public discourse in almost any form. Thousands of families who have lost children under circumstances lacking the ethos of military service or terror attacks, remain alone with their insufferable pain. There is discrimination in Israeli bereavement. Primary areas of activity 1. Public awareness and legislation Public awareness is key to gaining broad public support for bereaved families. We want them to know, from the first moment, that they have an address and that they are not alone. One of the goals of Yakir Li is to promote legislation that will confirm recognition of civilian bereaved families and establish the rights to which they are eligible. Thanks to positive cooperation with members of Knesset who have taken up the cause, Yakir Li has been instrumental in the passing of 2 legislative amendments. In addition, under a new law recently passed with our involvement, any family that loses a child will receive a one-time payment to help them during the dark days that follow the tragedy and to get back on their feet. 2. Civilian Bereavement Awareness Shabbat Once a year, on Shabbat Parshat Achrei Mot-Kedoshim, we arrange an annual civilian bereavement awareness Shabbat, marked in synagogues and communities throughout Israel. The Torah portion read on this Shabbat refers back to the deaths of the two sons of Aaron, the High Priest, and his response: “And Aaron stood in silence”. We hope that by providing this symbolic space and raising awareness within the wider public, new initiatives to broaden support will become available for these families. 3. The Eighth Day Yakir Li’s flagship initiative is “The Eighth Day”, a pilot project currently operated in conjunction with a number of municipal and community organizations. In each area, Yakir Li builds a team of volunteers who are on standby to intervene at short notice, to support families who experience the death of a child. The volunteers participate in a two-day training program to provide them with the know-how and skills needed to accompany and support the bereaved families. For those who need additional emotional support beyond the initial attention provided by the volunteers, Yakir Li connects them with therapeutic strategic partners and provides resources needed to make the emotional therapy accessible, and affordable, so that they can resume their lives in the best way possible. Yakir Li receives no public funding of any kind and the cost of activities is covered through minimal fundraising. The COVID-19 pandemic and the recent disaster in Meron have brought home the urgent need for readily available civilian bereavement support and the expansion of the Eighth Day initiative.